the glass box.

I shouldn’t be awake right now. I should be sleeping… but I’m haunted again by one of my worst memories. My eyes try to release it as much as they can. My tears understand. My pillow is damp. I’m frozen. I can’t sleep. I won’t sleep until I let this out. I wanted to leave […]

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“Are You Even Present?”

My therapist asked me this yesterday. It took me a long time to realize that I am, in fact, not present in my life. I’m grateful. I’m grateful. I’M GRATEFUL. I swear to fucking god, I’m grateful for what I have. But… The darkness in me is telling me otherwise, though. I keep closing my […]

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There’s A Stranger In Me

I’ve lost myself in everyone else but me. My own soul doesn’t live here, it hasn’t for some time. It’s sad and it’s frustrating… I feel empty constantly. As someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, I struggle with these two things: unstable sense of self, and chronic feelings of emptiness. My therapist tells me I need […]

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Kintsugi.

My cup is neither full nor empty. The vessel itself is cracked, therefore nothing really stays inside. Since the accident, I’ve felt even more incomplete than normal. Nothing seems to just stay inside and warm me up. My thoughts are jumbled or blank. I have nothing much to say. Everything feels like a void. I […]

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