never mind me, I’m a waste of your time.

I hate feeling so much. I hate it. It’s exhausting. I don’t want to feel anymore. I’m tired of hurting. I’m tired of feeling such intense emotions, more than most anyone else feels. I’m not well right now. And I’m sure people who know me are just like, “meh… she’ll feel ok in a bit. […]

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3:15am

Life is so unpredictable. I don’t know why it surprises me, I mean… it shouldn’t. Existence is just so random. Being human is bizarre. Being human can be really great, but being human also hurts. Sometimes I wonder if it hurts more for others? Does it hurt more for people like me? I just can’t […]

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ode to a borderline.

I want to write. I’ve got so much on my mind. But also, my emotions are so intense that it’s hard to articulate these thoughts. The days and nights have been a blur. Don’t really know what I’m doing anymore. I feel lost and broken. Time has slowed down, like those early mornings back home […]

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one day we won’t feel this pain anymore.

But you have to hold on.You have to have patience. I have to say this.I might explode.This isn’t mega Amy speaking.This is me, speaking from deep within my heart.These thoughts and feelings are flooding out of me.They need to spill out.So here we go.I’ll say it here. I want to scream it from the rooftops, […]

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trapped inside the looking glass, tell me when will all this pass.

I’m waiting.I’m fading.I’m floating away.Don’t really want to see another day.But I’m going to stay. If I’m going to stay, I need reasons.I need reasons… big and small, if I’m going to stay alive. I don’t hear voices in my head, it’s not some kind of hallucination.But there is one voice that is so vicious […]

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my reply.

“A willingness to try…” How do you tell someone you both want to try, but also will give up constantly and wish to die?

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over and over in my mind.

you’re ugly.you’re alone.you’re unlovable.you’re already unloved.you’re not worthy.you’re nothing.you’re worthless.you’re useless.you won’t amount to anything.you’re better off dead.you’re a burden.you’re broken.so very broken.you’re not wanted.you never will be.they’re all lying to you.listen to me.only to me.I’m your only friend.I’m your worst enemy.you can’t get rid of me.I’m here forever.you’re uncomfortable.you can’t get away.I’m all that […]

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This isn’t a suicide note.

Everyday I wake up with this existential dread, like why am I alive? Why bother? What’s the point? What am I even doing? There’s no place for me in the world. I’m not needed. I am of no significance. Sure people will miss me, but they’ll all move on with their lives. This void is […]

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