Find Your Own Way Out.

I’m sitting here alone. Wanting to be somewhere but not sure where. Wanting to be around someone, but wanting solitude. How can those feelings exist at the same time? How do I sit with someone and say few words, and not feel uncomfortable and awkward? How can I have everything I want without feeling like […]

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Hello, I’m Still Here…

The change happened gradually. I couldn’t tell you when or where it began. It’s just one of life’s fleeting moments now… but why does it slip into my mind so often? Is my subconscious trying to relay a message to me now, 16 years later? At least, that’s when I really started to noticed it. […]

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Abysmal Heart Hymn.

It seems, it FEELS like everything isn’t real. Like the thoughts and emotions that course through my veins are fake. The thoughts I think are nothing but “lies.” I invalidate myself. I tell myself I shouldn’t be feeling this or that way, or that there isn’t a reason to feel or think whatever it is. […]

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Holding Onto To What I Haven’t Got.

I know the better part of me is smart, logical, nimble, and quick in my mind. I’m aware of what’s happening around me. I can process this information and let it coarse through the neurotransmitters, synapses and retain the information. I don’t forget when it really matters. But then there’s the other part of me… […]

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Who Knew– I Think I Did.

Have you ever met someone who came into your life without a moments notice, buried themselves deep inside your heart, only to leave just as fast? Did they look into your eyes as if they could see all the ways you were broken? Did they come in and heal you nearly night after night, only […]

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I’m Never Gonna Be Your Sweet Surrender.

I’m tired. I’m in so many levels of pain. I long to go somewhere else other than the security of my room. But it’s all I have, there isn’t a second home. No other place to rest my head when I’ve had enough of my own solitude. No other place I can go retreat to […]

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Alone… And Lost In Paradise.

Los Angeles. The land where dreams come true… well, supposedly. I haven’t been graced with the luck of accomplished dreams. Mostly me not having the energy or level of care and determination to chase after those dreams. That’s all they are: sweet dreams that swirl around in my infinite universe of a conscious. I wish […]

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Kintsugi.

My cup is neither full nor empty. The vessel itself is cracked, therefore nothing really stays inside. Since the accident, I’ve felt even more incomplete than normal. Nothing seems to just stay inside and warm me up. My thoughts are jumbled or blank. I have nothing much to say. Everything feels like a void. I […]

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