Leaving Pieces of Me Behind.

The supernova in me explodes and implodes. Repeating, over and over again. I’m breaking inside and shattering on the outside quietly. I run… I’m running so fast so nobody can see the trail of blood I’m leaving behind. I’m covering my tracks as I go. Everything makes sense, and then suddenly it doesn’t. It never […]

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What’s The Difference Between a Loss and a Forfeit?

I tried to make it better but I made it more sick I tried to make it right And now awake at night I know reality was getting in the way Promises I Can’t Keep / Mike Shinoda, Post Traumatic I want to breathe, but all that escapes me is dead air. I’m blinking, I’m […]

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Leave The Light On- I Can’t Face the Dark Alone Tonight.

I’m sad. I feel low. I feel alone. I feel like an idiot. I feel unworthy and like a waste of space. Who knew at age 28––nearly age 29 in 5 months––I’d still feel like this. Aren’t we all supposed to grow out of this teenage angst? I know I’m human, but these thoughts and […]

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Half Alive in the Dead Space.

I’m at this place again, this moment where I’m stuck in my head and I can’t find the words to describe the thoughts racing through my mind. I can barely put it on paper, let alone type it out on my blog. I’m going to try anyway though. I don’t know what I want anymore. […]

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Open Up, Let Me In… Let Me Go.

I’m knocking softly on 2019’s front door. I’m patiently waiting for it to open wide, to welcome me in, to tell me to make myself at home and that good things are awaiting me. The door is open, and I can walk in and find some source of life again. And yet, I still feel […]

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Feeling Around For New Ground.

I haven’t posted in a couple weeks, it’s been difficult for me to try and find the words to say. Writer’s block of some sort, I guess. I know the words usually come naturally and just flow without me really thinking about it, but this time has been different. Life hasn’t been too bad. But […]

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Giving Thanks to My Demons

This last month has been incredibly difficult for me. I try to hide it- but deep inside myself, I’m breaking silently. I’m staring straight into the heavens, begging for something/someone out there to make everything not so heavy. It’s not that I believe the worst will always happen to me, it’s just this cycle never […]

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Time Is Telling Me, “This Is Gonna Hurt.”

Isn’t it wild that it’s already November? The years go by so fast now as I get older. A strange phenomenon. Life seems to pass by slowly as a kid, because that’s just the beginning of your life. As we age, we have more of a past that we can reflect on, thus making it […]

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Find Your Own Way Out.

I’m sitting here alone. Wanting to be somewhere but not sure where. Wanting to be around someone, but wanting solitude. How can those feelings exist at the same time? How do I sit with someone and say few words, and not feel uncomfortable and awkward? How can I have everything I want without feeling like […]

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Reality and Dreams; Not What It Seems

I’m staring into traffic. I’m not in a car, I’m in my head. I’m sitting in a patio with music playing in my earbuds. But I’m staring, I’m not blinking, just staring into the vehicles that whizz by. I wonder if the people that are in those cars are daydreaming too. I wonder if they’re […]

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