Can you hear me?
I can’t find the words to say or write. I can’t seem to find a way to make sense out of the mess that’s inside my head. I’ve been here sifting through my mind trying to compile some sort of clear thought process, but I’m struggling. I’m drifting in and out of reality. I thought […]
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My mind aches. My head spins. My heart hurts deeply. My soul is breaking. My spirit has flown far away from me; far from the mess that has presented itself in my waking life. My dreams reveal all the confusion I’m too apprehensive to face when I’m awake. Apprehension and fear have held me back, […]
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It seems, it FEELS like everything isn’t real. Like the thoughts and emotions that course through my veins are fake. The thoughts I think are nothing but “lies.” I invalidate myself. I tell myself I shouldn’t be feeling this or that way, or that there isn’t a reason to feel or think whatever it is. […]
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My therapist asked me this yesterday. It took me a long time to realize that I am, in fact, not present in my life. I’m grateful. I’m grateful. I’M GRATEFUL. I swear to fucking god, I’m grateful for what I have. But… The darkness in me is telling me otherwise, though. I keep closing my […]
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“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt That is my mother’s favorite quote. She told me it often growing up. She’s not wrong. As each day passes, I feel myself get just a tiny bit stronger. It may not seem like much, like a millimeter everyday. But when you […]
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I know the better part of me is smart, logical, nimble, and quick in my mind. I’m aware of what’s happening around me. I can process this information and let it coarse through the neurotransmitters, synapses and retain the information. I don’t forget when it really matters. But then there’s the other part of me… […]
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I see you… You watch me from the corner of the room. You watch me from the depths of my soul. You gaze ever so sinisterly in my direction. You want it all to end. You want me to give up. My emotional shadow is too much for you. You want to swallow it whole […]
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I look at you. I look down. I look at myself. I look away. I try to meet your eyes, but the path into your iris is dead. I think I killed it on my end before we locked our visions together. The road is lost. I laid it to rest because why try when […]
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Los Angeles. The land where dreams come true… well, supposedly. I haven’t been graced with the luck of accomplished dreams. Mostly me not having the energy or level of care and determination to chase after those dreams. That’s all they are: sweet dreams that swirl around in my infinite universe of a conscious. I wish […]
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Today has been heavy. I fell asleep with a heavy ache in my soul. I laid down, drifted away into another place that wasn’t my room. I don’t remember if I even brushed my teeth, which is rare because I’m all about oral care around the clock. I woke up feeling tired and empty. Why […]
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amy sumisu 