crying out for a song.

I sit and stare at it. The piano. My piano. Music flows into my ears and through my veins when I hit play on my phone. But when I look at my piano, I can’t feel it anymore. I feel like a fraud. How dare I have this instrument when I don’t even play it. […]

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Pirouetting Into My Prison.

There will never be enough blog entries to fully describe the indignation, anguish and hollowness that swirls inside of myself. I try over and over to drain it from my soul. I keep writing, hoping the next post will be the one that gets it all out in the open, far away from my cold heart. […]

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Hello, I’m Still Here…

The change happened gradually. I couldn’t tell you when or where it began. It’s just one of life’s fleeting moments now… but why does it slip into my mind so often? Is my subconscious trying to relay a message to me now, 16 years later? At least, that’s when I really started to noticed it. […]

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Blood On My Hands.

My hands seem to be unclean, no matter how hard I try to scrub the blood off. It’s more like cement, fused into my skin even though it should be inside of me instead. There’s a lingering guilt that plagues me, even when I try to look away and not notice it… It’s always there. […]

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Change My Attempt, Good Intentions

You may think I’m weird, that’s okay. I’m writing this at the Roxy Theater in LA. I’m waiting for 10 Years to take the stage. I came here alone. That’s also okay. I’m used to doing things alone. Earbuds in my ears to protect what hearing I have left (ha), overpriced 12oz beer in hand… […]

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Fallen Angels are In The Air Tonight.

Disclaimer: Don’t read my blog if you get upset by negative energy. I enjoy writing about the darker parts of me that I conceal. Well, I’ve decided not to delete this blog. Several friends have reached out to me saying they actually read (and enjoy) my posts. I was surprised, to say the least. So […]

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Music and my everlasting dream.

It’s late, and I should be sleeping because I have to work tomorrow… but I need to get this off my chest. I attended a Dream Theater show tonight, it was my 3rd time seeing them. They never cease to amaze me and always put on a spectacular show. Sometimes I think they’re superhuman (which […]

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