Can you hear me?
I want to go home. I don’t belong here. In my solitude is where I’ve found something that could represent a home. My blood runs cold. Heavy tears fall from my eyes and the clouds rain on me. A glimmer of sunlight cracks between the dark clouds, the warmth trying to beckon me. I feel […]
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Chasing the sun that doesn’t want to be found Feeling the weight of the world But not making a sound How can I dream when my thoughts are fleeting Running away from the cold and blind truth I can barely feel my heart beating But I can feel the life swimming within you What could […]
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All the medication in the world couldn’t elevate me to where I want to be. There’s so many moments, days and nights all throughout the years that I’ve tried to suppress. I’ve blocked them out because to look back and see those awful things swirling above my head like the darkest cloud is just […]
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How do I feel? I’ve been here before, I’ve felt this. Retreat to a place, a place within me, I need this. Keep it all down bottled inside, it breaks me. To torment again, and torture me like it used to. Change / Staind / Break the Cycle I feel like I’m on fire. The […]
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Into the void. It’s been awhile since I’ve written a post. I haven’t had the motivation or energy to put something out into the world. I also feel like I’ve said everything there is to say. I’ve just reached a point to where I’m just in the background of my own life, watching it pass […]
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The supernova in me explodes and implodes. Repeating, over and over again. I’m breaking inside and shattering on the outside quietly. I run… I’m running so fast so nobody can see the trail of blood I’m leaving behind. I’m covering my tracks as I go. Everything makes sense, and then suddenly it doesn’t. It never […]
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I can’t keep up with myself. You can’t. Nobody can. It’s a perpetual cycle we’re all trying to keep up with; the problem is that we can’t. It’ll circle us until the end of time, well… the end of my time. Ever since my BPD diagnosis in Feb 2014, I’ve learned a plethora of knowledge […]
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I want to write. I have the urge. I feel the need to empty the thoughts and feelings and the contradicting feelings that tell me I’m vacant. I’m told I have a story to tell- but it’s all the same. This is all the same. These words I deliver into the universe haven’t been changing. […]
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The fabric of my reality keeps splitting and sewing itself back together- never really the same each time it comes apart. Or maybe in my head it feels just ever so slightly different. Progress is a fickle thing. Does it work itself out in the end, though? I guess if it’s the end, it doesn’t […]
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(trigger warning: self-harm) My heart is pounding. I can’t slow it down. I can barely breathe. My head is reeling. I’m at war with myself. Yes, you all know this. I minimize it though, so I don’t worry you. I don’t want or need your pity. I know I have the strength in me to […]
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amy sumisu 