Can you hear me?
The change happened gradually. I couldn’t tell you when or where it began. It’s just one of life’s fleeting moments now… but why does it slip into my mind so often? Is my subconscious trying to relay a message to me now, 16 years later? At least, that’s when I really started to noticed it. […]
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I didn’t know you long. I should’ve waited, should’ve given it more time before fusing my world with yours. Why was I impatient? I guess I was just so intrigued by you; I’d never known someone who was intertwined in their mind like I was. And yet, maybe we weren’t so alike after all. I […]
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I can’t find the words to say or write. I can’t seem to find a way to make sense out of the mess that’s inside my head. I’ve been here sifting through my mind trying to compile some sort of clear thought process, but I’m struggling. I’m drifting in and out of reality. I thought […]
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My mind aches. My head spins. My heart hurts deeply. My soul is breaking. My spirit has flown far away from me; far from the mess that has presented itself in my waking life. My dreams reveal all the confusion I’m too apprehensive to face when I’m awake. Apprehension and fear have held me back, […]
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It seems, it FEELS like everything isn’t real. Like the thoughts and emotions that course through my veins are fake. The thoughts I think are nothing but “lies.” I invalidate myself. I tell myself I shouldn’t be feeling this or that way, or that there isn’t a reason to feel or think whatever it is. […]
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I’ve waited endlessly through time. I’ve waited patiently, impatiently, nearly giving up, then taking back all the hope and faith I had let go. I have crawled through the wreckage, through hordes of people that once captivated me, through heartbreak, through blood, sweat, and tears. I nearly drowned in the darkness that overtook me in […]
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My therapist asked me this yesterday. It took me a long time to realize that I am, in fact, not present in my life. I’m grateful. I’m grateful. I’M GRATEFUL. I swear to fucking god, I’m grateful for what I have. But… The darkness in me is telling me otherwise, though. I keep closing my […]
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There’s so much yet so little I want to say. Every day I evolve. All these thoughts and ideas that flow through my mind. Some abstract and complex, others are so simple and complacent. I always want to be better than I am from the previous day. But after awhile, the days start blending together […]
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“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt That is my mother’s favorite quote. She told me it often growing up. She’s not wrong. As each day passes, I feel myself get just a tiny bit stronger. It may not seem like much, like a millimeter everyday. But when you […]
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I know the better part of me is smart, logical, nimble, and quick in my mind. I’m aware of what’s happening around me. I can process this information and let it coarse through the neurotransmitters, synapses and retain the information. I don’t forget when it really matters. But then there’s the other part of me… […]
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amy sumisu 