Can you hear me?
I can’t keep up with myself. You can’t. Nobody can. It’s a perpetual cycle we’re all trying to keep up with; the problem is that we can’t. It’ll circle us until the end of time, well… the end of my time. Ever since my BPD diagnosis in Feb 2014, I’ve learned a plethora of knowledge […]
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I want to write. I have the urge. I feel the need to empty the thoughts and feelings and the contradicting feelings that tell me I’m vacant. I’m told I have a story to tell- but it’s all the same. This is all the same. These words I deliver into the universe haven’t been changing. […]
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The fabric of my reality keeps splitting and sewing itself back together- never really the same each time it comes apart. Or maybe in my head it feels just ever so slightly different. Progress is a fickle thing. Does it work itself out in the end, though? I guess if it’s the end, it doesn’t […]
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(trigger warning: self-harm) My heart is pounding. I can’t slow it down. I can barely breathe. My head is reeling. I’m at war with myself. Yes, you all know this. I minimize it though, so I don’t worry you. I don’t want or need your pity. I know I have the strength in me to […]
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Life is weird, sometimes awful, sometimes great. Lately it’s been so up and down, and I can barely keep up with myself. I have all these dreams, but no direction. I don’t know where I’m supposed to go, or do, or how to go about it. I feel broken down, and I feel like I […]
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I tried to make it better but I made it more sick I tried to make it right And now awake at night I know reality was getting in the way Promises I Can’t Keep / Mike Shinoda, Post Traumatic I want to breathe, but all that escapes me is dead air. I’m blinking, I’m […]
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I’m sad. I feel low. I feel alone. I feel like an idiot. I feel unworthy and like a waste of space. Who knew at age 28––nearly age 29 in 5 months––I’d still feel like this. Aren’t we all supposed to grow out of this teenage angst? I know I’m human, but these thoughts and […]
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Actions don’t speak louder than words when all you want to do is scream until your throat bleeds out.
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I’m at this place again, this moment where I’m stuck in my head and I can’t find the words to describe the thoughts racing through my mind. I can barely put it on paper, let alone type it out on my blog. I’m going to try anyway though. I don’t know what I want anymore. […]
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This last month has been incredibly difficult for me. I try to hide it- but deep inside myself, I’m breaking silently. I’m staring straight into the heavens, begging for something/someone out there to make everything not so heavy. It’s not that I believe the worst will always happen to me, it’s just this cycle never […]
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amy sumisu 