Can you hear me?
Today has been heavy. I fell asleep with a heavy ache in my soul. I laid down, drifted away into another place that wasn’t my room. I don’t remember if I even brushed my teeth, which is rare because I’m all about oral care around the clock. I woke up feeling tired and empty. Why […]
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Sometimes I have small revelations now and then. Things that stick, thoughts and ideas that surround my conscious and give me something to believe in. Today I’ve opened a door to a revelation that many people choose to shut and look for another door. Never compromise what’s truly in your heart. Don’t change your morals […]
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Reflecting on my life, I see a pattern when it comes to people. People I like, people I love, people I’ve tried too hard for… it feels like I try more for them. I try to make them like me and want to be friends/lovers with me. I’m seeking validation in possibly the wrong people. […]
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My hands seem to be unclean, no matter how hard I try to scrub the blood off. It’s more like cement, fused into my skin even though it should be inside of me instead. There’s a lingering guilt that plagues me, even when I try to look away and not notice it… It’s always there. […]
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Empty. Empty. Empty. Empty. Empty. Do you see me? Can you hear me? I’m looking into the dark and I thought I saw you there. I swear I did. I heard a familiar voice. It went away. You were there, too. But you went away. I can’t think of you or talk about you without […]
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I had a strange upbringing. Stability wasn’t a theme in my life––figuratively and literally. Most people I’ve encountered have only moved once or twice, others haven’t moved at all, and have stayed at their childhood home and never left their hometown except for college. I didn’t have that luxury. I moved more times than I […]
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I was sitting in my therapists office today. I wasn’t completely present, not until she said something that resonated within me. Something I never quite thought of. “Being in a relationship in this time of your life actually hinders you from developing your own self. Your feeding your own energy into someone else in the […]
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Trigger warning: Self-harm and suicide
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I’ve lost myself in everyone else but me. My own soul doesn’t live here, it hasn’t for some time. It’s sad and it’s frustrating… I feel empty constantly. As someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, I struggle with these two things: unstable sense of self, and chronic feelings of emptiness. My therapist tells me I need […]
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Been having the worst writers block lately. I’m trying to force myself to write, but the shit that comes out hardly makes sense to me. I had a bit of a meltdown last night, alone in my room. I haven’t cried as hard as I did in a long time. It’s like everything I’ve been […]
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amy sumisu 