hide from you, all of you
I can’t think. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to type. But I do, I so desperately want to type. I want to tell the world that doesn’t listen to what I have to say what has been happening in my life for the last 9 months. I want to scream into […]Read More
right or wrong, barely holding on.
TW: self-harm, suicidal ideationRead More
tough girl, I’m in pain.
I should be sleeping, but I’m writing this instead. My head is spinning with so many thoughts, it’s difficult to keep myself tethered to the present. Can I organize my thoughts? I don’t know. All I know is that I’m hurting because my own brain has flooded me and is drowning me in my insecurities […]Read More
a new year: a new way to bleed.
Happy new year, everyone. I truly hope 2022 isn’t as barren as the last few years have been. It’s hard to think otherwise, as my nihilistic tendencies have intensified so much. There have been countless times where I’ve wanted to write here. It’s been months. But I just haven’t had the words to say. It’s […]Read More
I am the ghost who floats through time.
I don’t know where to begin. I want to rage and smash things. I want to bash in my keyboard for the words that I’m about to lay down. But all I can do is cry, hold and try to soothe myself. I want to know where in life I went wrong for some people […]Read More
never mind me, I’m a waste of your time.
I hate feeling so much. I hate it. It’s exhausting. I don’t want to feel anymore. I’m tired of hurting. I’m tired of feeling such intense emotions, more than most anyone else feels. I’m not well right now. And I’m sure people who know me are just like, “meh… she’ll feel ok in a bit. […]Read More
Life is so unpredictable. I don’t know why it surprises me, I mean… it shouldn’t. Existence is just so random. Being human is bizarre. Being human can be really great, but being human also hurts. Sometimes I wonder if it hurts more for others? Does it hurt more for people like me? I just can’t […]Read More
ode to a borderline.
I want to write. I’ve got so much on my mind. But also, my emotions are so intense that it’s hard to articulate these thoughts. The days and nights have been a blur. Don’t really know what I’m doing anymore. I feel lost and broken. Time has slowed down, like those early mornings back home […]Read More
trapped inside the looking glass, tell me when will all this pass.
I’m waiting.I’m fading.I’m floating away.Don’t really want to see another day.But I’m going to stay. If I’m going to stay, I need reasons.I need reasons… big and small, if I’m going to stay alive. I don’t hear voices in my head, it’s not some kind of hallucination.But there is one voice that is so vicious […]Read More