I Can’t Change Who I Am…

Reflecting on my life, I see a pattern when it comes to people. People I like, people I love, people I’ve tried too hard for… it feels like I try more for them. I try to make them like me and want to be friends/lovers with me. I’m seeking validation in possibly the wrong people. […]

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There’s A Stranger In Me

I’ve lost myself in everyone else but me. My own soul doesn’t live here, it hasn’t for some time. It’s sad and it’s frustrating… I feel empty constantly. As someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, I struggle with these two things: unstable sense of self, and chronic feelings of emptiness. My therapist tells me I need […]

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Shame Still Circles Beneath Me.

Been having the worst writers block lately. I’m trying to force myself to write, but the shit that comes out hardly makes sense to me. I had a bit of a meltdown last night, alone in my room. I haven’t cried as hard as I did in a long time. It’s like everything I’ve been […]

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Run Away (Take It All Away)

In all of my moments, all of my fleeting moments… The emotions that flood over me, the ones that are black and white; the colors of my tears that change faster than you could take another breath; the agony of another thought that pushes me under my skin, the place where I want to get […]

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Fly, Eagles, Fly… Far away from here.

It’s hard to write this, but I have to. I’ve mentioned that this time of the year is hard because it’s football season, and my ex is a die-hard Philadelphia Eagles fan. I mean, I don’t blame him. That’s where he’s from. Gotta rep your team. I just caught a bit of tonight’s game, it […]

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Depression is…

Depression is me laying in bed all morning, all afternoon. It’s me aimlessly staring into my phone, swiping through apps, as if the answer to my life’s problems are going to reveal themselves. Depression is me looking for the will to try to make a change, to better my life, but unable to tap into […]

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Somewhere beyond the “Otherside”

My head is buzzing. The sound frequencies and wavelengths are churning inside my mind. I lie awake and stare at the wall, as if the answer to my problems are going to seep through the paint and wash away the indignation and pain. I’m not having a pity party, I legit question the universe as […]

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