don’t read this. seriously… don’t say I didn’t warn you if you do read it.
TW: Rabbit hole of existential crisis, paranoia, pain, and despair.
Read MoreTag: ptsd
dancing with the devil
Little one With your silken flesh Open your eyes You’re no better than the rest You dance with the devil Under the dim lights With a hundred voices telling you, “It’s time to end your life.” Little one You can’t bury the pain As much as you beg for solace There’s no hope for you […]
Read Moresparkling grey, you’ve gone away.
Where do I begin? Do I start with the present? The way my skin tingles, crawls, bleeds and burns? The way the endless tears stain my pillowcase and my face? The way my chest caves in on itself and I suddenly can’t breathe? Who could—who would—love someone like me? The flaws I carry are too […]
Read Morefell for these empty eyes.
I’m so full of life, and yet I’m hollow. I watch as the life is drained before my eyes. The mirror fades to black slowly while I try to remember what happiness looked and felt like. I don’t remember… I see nothing, and I feel nothing. Tear-stained pillow; my only company. In the stillness and […]
Read Morebenevolent sun.
The sound of my heart beating drowns out the fan on my dresser. My vision is blurry, but not due to tears. My bedroom is still. Everything is still. 24 hours ago, the ground beneath me shook. Everything was moving. I felt sick and my equilibrium was off. It felt like it lasted forever. I […]
Read MoreDiagnosis: Terminal
My dissociation is bad today. I can’t focus on anything, not even writing this. I’m attempting to at least write a post though so I can ground myself to something. My heart is beating fast, my anxiety levels are high. I want to run away. I always want to run away. Why do I want […]
Read MoreThe Sun Shines but It’s Dark Inside.
Today is the first time in a bit where I just wanted to stay under the covers. In any case, I haven’t left my bedroom. I feel heavy… so heavy. I don’t have the strength to pick myself up. I feel like everyone has walked away, passing me by as they have more pressing matters […]
Read MoreFailed to See… Can You See?
Why does life feel like it moves in slow motion, and yet it also feels like the clock is fleeting? Why do I feel like everything I want is out of reach? I touch the air as if what I crave is right in front of me, but it twists into smoke when I almost […]
Read MoreHeavy Empty Spaces.
Who am I when the world doesn’t see me hidden away? What exists inside myself when all I can do is hide from all your eyes? I’m blowing away. The heartless wind circles around me and I am chilled to the bone. The silence is deafening. I try to shake myself back into the present […]
Read Morethe image is cracked, but so is the view.
Are you afraid, afraid of the truth? In the mirror staring back at you. The image is cracked but so is the view. And the strength of a tree begins in the roots That I tend bury into you At least now the storm can’t blow me away. So crawl inside my head with me. […]
Read More
amy sumisu 