Can you hear me?
I’ve been pushing aside most things as of late. My energy is low; I don’t wish to waste my time and sacred resources beating around the bush to find answers. I’d rather just lay low than to venture out in the world. I’ve become a lone wolf. You may think that what I’ve been saying […]
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I’m sitting here alone. Wanting to be somewhere but not sure where. Wanting to be around someone, but wanting solitude. How can those feelings exist at the same time? How do I sit with someone and say few words, and not feel uncomfortable and awkward? How can I have everything I want without feeling like […]
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There will never be enough blog entries to fully describe the indignation, anguish and hollowness that swirls inside of myself. I try over and over to drain it from my soul. I keep writing, hoping the next post will be the one that gets it all out in the open, far away from my cold heart. […]
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The change happened gradually. I couldn’t tell you when or where it began. It’s just one of life’s fleeting moments now… but why does it slip into my mind so often? Is my subconscious trying to relay a message to me now, 16 years later? At least, that’s when I really started to noticed it. […]
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I can’t find the words to say or write. I can’t seem to find a way to make sense out of the mess that’s inside my head. I’ve been here sifting through my mind trying to compile some sort of clear thought process, but I’m struggling. I’m drifting in and out of reality. I thought […]
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My mind aches. My head spins. My heart hurts deeply. My soul is breaking. My spirit has flown far away from me; far from the mess that has presented itself in my waking life. My dreams reveal all the confusion I’m too apprehensive to face when I’m awake. Apprehension and fear have held me back, […]
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It seems, it FEELS like everything isn’t real. Like the thoughts and emotions that course through my veins are fake. The thoughts I think are nothing but “lies.” I invalidate myself. I tell myself I shouldn’t be feeling this or that way, or that there isn’t a reason to feel or think whatever it is. […]
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My therapist asked me this yesterday. It took me a long time to realize that I am, in fact, not present in my life. I’m grateful. I’m grateful. I’M GRATEFUL. I swear to fucking god, I’m grateful for what I have. But… The darkness in me is telling me otherwise, though. I keep closing my […]
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“I’m stuck in this bed you made Alone with a sinking feeling I saw through the words you said To the secrets you’ve been keeping It’s written upon your face All the lies how they cut so deeply You can’t get enough you take And take and take and never say No- You’ve gotta get […]
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It’s been one of those days––which I do frequently have––where I feel unmeasurably emptier and heavier than normal. I’m not sure when it snuck up on me today. Perhaps it’s been building. I hate it. I can’t stand it, and I wish it would go away. I didn’t welcome it inside me. But as always, […]
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amy sumisu 