Can you hear me?
Today is the first time in a bit where I just wanted to stay under the covers. In any case, I haven’t left my bedroom. I feel heavy… so heavy. I don’t have the strength to pick myself up. I feel like everyone has walked away, passing me by as they have more pressing matters […]
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Why does life feel like it moves in slow motion, and yet it also feels like the clock is fleeting? Why do I feel like everything I want is out of reach? I touch the air as if what I crave is right in front of me, but it twists into smoke when I almost […]
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Who am I when the world doesn’t see me hidden away? What exists inside myself when all I can do is hide from all your eyes? I’m blowing away. The heartless wind circles around me and I am chilled to the bone. The silence is deafening. I try to shake myself back into the present […]
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How do I feel? I’ve been here before, I’ve felt this. Retreat to a place, a place within me, I need this. Keep it all down bottled inside, it breaks me. To torment again, and torture me like it used to. Change / Staind / Break the Cycle I feel like I’m on fire. The […]
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The supernova in me explodes and implodes. Repeating, over and over again. I’m breaking inside and shattering on the outside quietly. I run… I’m running so fast so nobody can see the trail of blood I’m leaving behind. I’m covering my tracks as I go. Everything makes sense, and then suddenly it doesn’t. It never […]
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I can’t keep up with myself. You can’t. Nobody can. It’s a perpetual cycle we’re all trying to keep up with; the problem is that we can’t. It’ll circle us until the end of time, well… the end of my time. Ever since my BPD diagnosis in Feb 2014, I’ve learned a plethora of knowledge […]
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I’ve been pushing aside most things as of late. My energy is low; I don’t wish to waste my time and sacred resources beating around the bush to find answers. I’d rather just lay low than to venture out in the world. I’ve become a lone wolf. You may think that what I’ve been saying […]
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Isn’t it wild that it’s already November? The years go by so fast now as I get older. A strange phenomenon. Life seems to pass by slowly as a kid, because that’s just the beginning of your life. As we age, we have more of a past that we can reflect on, thus making it […]
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I’m sitting here alone. Wanting to be somewhere but not sure where. Wanting to be around someone, but wanting solitude. How can those feelings exist at the same time? How do I sit with someone and say few words, and not feel uncomfortable and awkward? How can I have everything I want without feeling like […]
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I’m staring into traffic. I’m not in a car, I’m in my head. I’m sitting in a patio with music playing in my earbuds. But I’m staring, I’m not blinking, just staring into the vehicles that whizz by. I wonder if the people that are in those cars are daydreaming too. I wonder if they’re […]
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amy sumisu 