Can you hear me?
Isn’t it wild that it’s already November? The years go by so fast now as I get older. A strange phenomenon. Life seems to pass by slowly as a kid, because that’s just the beginning of your life. As we age, we have more of a past that we can reflect on, thus making it […]
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I’m sitting here alone. Wanting to be somewhere but not sure where. Wanting to be around someone, but wanting solitude. How can those feelings exist at the same time? How do I sit with someone and say few words, and not feel uncomfortable and awkward? How can I have everything I want without feeling like […]
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I’ve felt this way many times before. You know, that swirling feeling of uncertainty… but you know that feeling. It’s an uncertain familiar feeling. I realized that’s an oxymoron, but bear with me. For most of my life, I’ve lived in this fear, this uncertainty that has made itself a place inside my mind. I’m so […]
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There will never be enough blog entries to fully describe the indignation, anguish and hollowness that swirls inside of myself. I try over and over to drain it from my soul. I keep writing, hoping the next post will be the one that gets it all out in the open, far away from my cold heart. […]
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The change happened gradually. I couldn’t tell you when or where it began. It’s just one of life’s fleeting moments now… but why does it slip into my mind so often? Is my subconscious trying to relay a message to me now, 16 years later? At least, that’s when I really started to noticed it. […]
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I didn’t know you long. I should’ve waited, should’ve given it more time before fusing my world with yours. Why was I impatient? I guess I was just so intrigued by you; I’d never known someone who was intertwined in their mind like I was. And yet, maybe we weren’t so alike after all. I […]
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I can’t find the words to say or write. I can’t seem to find a way to make sense out of the mess that’s inside my head. I’ve been here sifting through my mind trying to compile some sort of clear thought process, but I’m struggling. I’m drifting in and out of reality. I thought […]
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It seems, it FEELS like everything isn’t real. Like the thoughts and emotions that course through my veins are fake. The thoughts I think are nothing but “lies.” I invalidate myself. I tell myself I shouldn’t be feeling this or that way, or that there isn’t a reason to feel or think whatever it is. […]
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I’ve waited endlessly through time. I’ve waited patiently, impatiently, nearly giving up, then taking back all the hope and faith I had let go. I have crawled through the wreckage, through hordes of people that once captivated me, through heartbreak, through blood, sweat, and tears. I nearly drowned in the darkness that overtook me in […]
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My therapist asked me this yesterday. It took me a long time to realize that I am, in fact, not present in my life. I’m grateful. I’m grateful. I’M GRATEFUL. I swear to fucking god, I’m grateful for what I have. But… The darkness in me is telling me otherwise, though. I keep closing my […]
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amy sumisu 