Can you hear me?
My dissociation is bad today. I can’t focus on anything, not even writing this. I’m attempting to at least write a post though so I can ground myself to something. My heart is beating fast, my anxiety levels are high. I want to run away. I always want to run away. Why do I want […]
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I’m home. I’m in my room. I’m stripped down in nothing but a shirt and a sweater, and I lie here in bed, alone. My favorite vinyl spins as the song that has been cemented to the inside of my brain plays on. I’m staring out the window from under the lonely warmth of my […]
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Today is the first time in a bit where I just wanted to stay under the covers. In any case, I haven’t left my bedroom. I feel heavy… so heavy. I don’t have the strength to pick myself up. I feel like everyone has walked away, passing me by as they have more pressing matters […]
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Why does life feel like it moves in slow motion, and yet it also feels like the clock is fleeting? Why do I feel like everything I want is out of reach? I touch the air as if what I crave is right in front of me, but it twists into smoke when I almost […]
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Who am I when the world doesn’t see me hidden away? What exists inside myself when all I can do is hide from all your eyes? I’m blowing away. The heartless wind circles around me and I am chilled to the bone. The silence is deafening. I try to shake myself back into the present […]
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Are you afraid, afraid of the truth? In the mirror staring back at you. The image is cracked but so is the view. And the strength of a tree begins in the roots That I tend bury into you At least now the storm can’t blow me away. So crawl inside my head with me. […]
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I want to go home. I don’t belong here. In my solitude is where I’ve found something that could represent a home. My blood runs cold. Heavy tears fall from my eyes and the clouds rain on me. A glimmer of sunlight cracks between the dark clouds, the warmth trying to beckon me. I feel […]
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All the medication in the world couldn’t elevate me to where I want to be. There’s so many moments, days and nights all throughout the years that I’ve tried to suppress. I’ve blocked them out because to look back and see those awful things swirling above my head like the darkest cloud is just […]
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Into the void. It’s been awhile since I’ve written a post. I haven’t had the motivation or energy to put something out into the world. I also feel like I’ve said everything there is to say. I’ve just reached a point to where I’m just in the background of my own life, watching it pass […]
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The supernova in me explodes and implodes. Repeating, over and over again. I’m breaking inside and shattering on the outside quietly. I run… I’m running so fast so nobody can see the trail of blood I’m leaving behind. I’m covering my tracks as I go. Everything makes sense, and then suddenly it doesn’t. It never […]
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amy sumisu 