ode to a borderline.

August 23, 2021.Reading time 13 minutes.

I want to write. I’ve got so much on my mind. But also, my emotions are so intense that it’s hard to articulate these thoughts. The days and nights have been a blur. Don’t really know what I’m doing anymore. I feel lost and broken. Time has slowed down, like those early mornings back home […]

one day we won’t feel this pain anymore.

August 19, 2021.Reading time 4 minutes.

But you have to hold on.You have to have patience. I have to say this.I might explode.This isn’t mega Amy speaking.This is me, speaking from deep within my heart.These thoughts and feelings are flooding out of me.They need to spill out.So here we go.I’ll say it here. I want to scream it from the rooftops, […]

trapped inside the looking glass, tell me when will all this pass.

August 11, 2021.Reading time 4 minutes.

I’m waiting.I’m fading.I’m floating away.Don’t really want to see another day.But I’m going to stay. If I’m going to stay, I need reasons.I need reasons… big and small, if I’m going to stay alive. I don’t hear voices in my head, it’s not some kind of hallucination.But there is one voice that is so vicious […]

my reply.

July 11, 2021.Reading time 4 minutes.

“A willingness to try…” How do you tell someone you both want to try, but also will give up constantly and wish to die?

This isn’t a suicide note.

March 19, 2021.Reading time 3 minutes.

Everyday I wake up with this existential dread, like why am I alive? Why bother? What’s the point? What am I even doing? There’s no place for me in the world. I’m not needed. I am of no significance. Sure people will miss me, but they’ll all move on with their lives. This void is […]

you want nothing in return, I feel guilty.

December 15, 2020.Reading time 8 minutes.

I haven’t written on my blog in months. I haven’t abandoned it. I just haven’t had the words to say, I haven’t had the energy to convey how I’ve been feeling about anything. However, I felt compelled to so today. I want to think that I’m this person who is capable of talking about her […]

bittersweet stasis

October 11, 2020.Reading time 13 minutes.

I’ve started reading a book called “The Midnight Library” by my favorite author, Matt Haig. It’s about a 35 year old woman who decides to kill herself because nothing in her life is going right, and she feels she isn’t needed by anyone. But before she actually dies, she’s in between life and death- in […]

I will (always) let you down.

September 21, 2020.Reading time 7 minutes.

I don’t sleep much anymore. I’ve never been the best sleeper though. But lately, for months now, I stay awake until anywhere between 3am-7am. I can’t make my mind slow down. There’s always thoughts flowing in and out, swirling around and suffocating me. It’s nearly 5:30am, and I’m writing this post and crying too. My […]

Protected: “I’ve done so much and think of only you.”

September 16, 2020.Reading time 7 minutes.

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

I miss the colors of the world.

August 22, 2020.Reading time 6 minutes.

It’s been 2 months since I’ve written a post. I’m sitting here trying to find the words to say, and it’s depleting my energy quickly. My head is cloudy, and my hands feel so heavy. I don’t want to type. I don’t know what to say. I have moments in the day where I feel […]

amy sumisu

Tag: mental health