I Can’t Change Who I Am…

Reflecting on my life, I see a pattern when it comes to people. People I like, people I love, people I’ve tried too hard for… it feels like I try more for them. I try to make them like me and want to be friends/lovers with me. I’m seeking validation in possibly the wrong people. […]

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Blood On My Hands.

My hands seem to be unclean, no matter how hard I try to scrub the blood off. It’s more like cement, fused into my skin even though it should be inside of me instead. There’s a lingering guilt that plagues me, even when I try to look away and not notice it… It’s always there. […]

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I’m A Call Without An Answer…

I’m a shadow in the dark, trying to put it back together, as I watch it fall apart. Nothing Makes Sense Anymore – Mike Shinoda / Post Traumatic I stood in the pitch black darkness. I was staring into the pacific ocean, on the Salt Creek beach in Dana Point, where I (mostly) grew up. […]

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Shame Still Circles Beneath Me.

Been having the worst writers block lately. I’m trying to force myself to write, but the shit that comes out hardly makes sense to me. I had a bit of a meltdown last night, alone in my room. I haven’t cried as hard as I did in a long time. It’s like everything I’ve been […]

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Change My Attempt, Good Intentions

You may think I’m weird, that’s okay. I’m writing this at the Roxy Theater in LA. I’m waiting for 10 Years to take the stage. I came here alone. That’s also okay. I’m used to doing things alone. Earbuds in my ears to protect what hearing I have left (ha), overpriced 12oz beer in hand… […]

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Run Away (Take It All Away)

In all of my moments, all of my fleeting moments… The emotions that flood over me, the ones that are black and white; the colors of my tears that change faster than you could take another breath; the agony of another thought that pushes me under my skin, the place where I want to get […]

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Diamond in the Rough.

There are so many things I want to say, but they are confined underneath my skin. They are suffocating with each thought that passes by. They want someone to hear them, but the forcefield of my own being refuses to let them go. If only I could let them go… I will try to release […]

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Supernatural Energy in the Tarot and the Stars

Superstitions: You either believe them, or you do not. I guess the secret is out– I do believe in some superstitions… I believe in luck, or the lack of. I believe knocking on wood helps counteract whatever thing I may have jinxed. While I find astrology amusing, I wouldn’t base my whole life around them. […]

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Fly, Eagles, Fly… Far away from here.

It’s hard to write this, but I have to. I’ve mentioned that this time of the year is hard because it’s football season, and my ex is a die-hard Philadelphia Eagles fan. I mean, I don’t blame him. That’s where he’s from. Gotta rep your team. I just caught a bit of tonight’s game, it […]

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Depression is…

Depression is me laying in bed all morning, all afternoon. It’s me aimlessly staring into my phone, swiping through apps, as if the answer to my life’s problems are going to reveal themselves. Depression is me looking for the will to try to make a change, to better my life, but unable to tap into […]

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