Can you hear me?
Tonight is the first night in a long time where I’ve had alcohol. Sometimes it’s hard to drink… it reminds me too much of my mother and her addiction to it. I do my best to separate my experience from hers though. I don’t drink to drown out the demons in my head. I wish […]
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Subtle nightmares plague my waking thoughts, day in and day out. I can’t begin to describe how uncomfortable it is, being awake as they crawl underneath my skin. I can’t get them out of my body; they’ve fused with me. The nightmares have overtaken my thoughts and have made a home inside my brain. They […]
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Life is weird, sometimes awful, sometimes great. Lately it’s been so up and down, and I can barely keep up with myself. I have all these dreams, but no direction. I don’t know where I’m supposed to go, or do, or how to go about it. I feel broken down, and I feel like I […]
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I’m sitting here alone. Wanting to be somewhere but not sure where. Wanting to be around someone, but wanting solitude. How can those feelings exist at the same time? How do I sit with someone and say few words, and not feel uncomfortable and awkward? How can I have everything I want without feeling like […]
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I’m staring into traffic. I’m not in a car, I’m in my head. I’m sitting in a patio with music playing in my earbuds. But I’m staring, I’m not blinking, just staring into the vehicles that whizz by. I wonder if the people that are in those cars are daydreaming too. I wonder if they’re […]
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I’ve felt this way many times before. You know, that swirling feeling of uncertainty… but you know that feeling. It’s an uncertain familiar feeling. I realized that’s an oxymoron, but bear with me. For most of my life, I’ve lived in this fear, this uncertainty that has made itself a place inside my mind. I’m so […]
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I can’t find the words to say or write. I can’t seem to find a way to make sense out of the mess that’s inside my head. I’ve been here sifting through my mind trying to compile some sort of clear thought process, but I’m struggling. I’m drifting in and out of reality. I thought […]
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My mind aches. My head spins. My heart hurts deeply. My soul is breaking. My spirit has flown far away from me; far from the mess that has presented itself in my waking life. My dreams reveal all the confusion I’m too apprehensive to face when I’m awake. Apprehension and fear have held me back, […]
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I’m tired. I’m in so many levels of pain. I long to go somewhere else other than the security of my room. But it’s all I have, there isn’t a second home. No other place to rest my head when I’ve had enough of my own solitude. No other place I can go retreat to […]
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Los Angeles. The land where dreams come true… well, supposedly. I haven’t been graced with the luck of accomplished dreams. Mostly me not having the energy or level of care and determination to chase after those dreams. That’s all they are: sweet dreams that swirl around in my infinite universe of a conscious. I wish […]
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amy sumisu 