Can you hear me?
My hands seem to be unclean, no matter how hard I try to scrub the blood off. It’s more like cement, fused into my skin even though it should be inside of me instead. There’s a lingering guilt that plagues me, even when I try to look away and not notice it… It’s always there. […]
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I’m a shadow in the dark, trying to put it back together, as I watch it fall apart. Nothing Makes Sense Anymore – Mike Shinoda / Post Traumatic I stood in the pitch black darkness. I was staring into the pacific ocean, on the Salt Creek beach in Dana Point, where I (mostly) grew up. […]
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I had a strange upbringing. Stability wasn’t a theme in my life––figuratively and literally. Most people I’ve encountered have only moved once or twice, others haven’t moved at all, and have stayed at their childhood home and never left their hometown except for college. I didn’t have that luxury. I moved more times than I […]
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I’ve been here hundreds of times in the last few months. I grab my laptop, or my phone. I log onto my blog, open a new post, and stare blankly at the blinding white vacant text box. The blinking cursor laughs at me. Nothing comes to mind.I give up and close the app or shut […]
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I’ve got to be honest… My happiness depends on you. I don’t mean to put this burden on you, so I don’t dare say a thing. I will suffer in silence so you don’t know the storm that’s really inside of me. My well-being waits for you to be okay so that I can be […]
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Trigger warning: Self-harm and suicide
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Life has been feeling mundane lately. All I do is work, then go home, sleep, rinse and repeat. I still haven’t found meaning in my life… What’s wrong with me? I can’t be the only one who feels this way though. I feel debilitated by fear, these invisible chains holding me back from reaching anything. […]
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Been having the worst writers block lately. I’m trying to force myself to write, but the shit that comes out hardly makes sense to me. I had a bit of a meltdown last night, alone in my room. I haven’t cried as hard as I did in a long time. It’s like everything I’ve been […]
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In all of my moments, all of my fleeting moments… The emotions that flood over me, the ones that are black and white; the colors of my tears that change faster than you could take another breath; the agony of another thought that pushes me under my skin, the place where I want to get […]
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It’s hard to write this, but I have to. I’ve mentioned that this time of the year is hard because it’s football season, and my ex is a die-hard Philadelphia Eagles fan. I mean, I don’t blame him. That’s where he’s from. Gotta rep your team. I just caught a bit of tonight’s game, it […]
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amy sumisu 