Find Your Own Way Out.

I’m sitting here alone. Wanting to be somewhere but not sure where. Wanting to be around someone, but wanting solitude. How can those feelings exist at the same time? How do I sit with someone and say few words, and not feel uncomfortable and awkward? How can I have everything I want without feeling like […]

Read More

Certainly Uncertain, But I’m Alive.

I’ve felt this way many times before. You know, that swirling feeling of uncertainty… but you know that feeling. It’s an uncertain familiar feeling. I realized that’s an oxymoron, but bear with me. For most of my life, I’ve lived in this fear, this uncertainty that has made itself a place inside my mind. I’m so […]

Read More

Shame Still Circles Beneath Me.

Been having the worst writers block lately. I’m trying to force myself to write, but the shit that comes out hardly makes sense to me. I had a bit of a meltdown last night, alone in my room. I haven’t cried as hard as I did in a long time. It’s like everything I’ve been […]

Read More

Run Away (Take It All Away)

In all of my moments, all of my fleeting moments… The emotions that flood over me, the ones that are black and white; the colors of my tears that change faster than you could take another breath; the agony of another thought that pushes me under my skin, the place where I want to get […]

Read More

Depression is…

Depression is me laying in bed all morning, all afternoon. It’s me aimlessly staring into my phone, swiping through apps, as if the answer to my life’s problems are going to reveal themselves. Depression is me looking for the will to try to make a change, to better my life, but unable to tap into […]

Read More

Kintsugi.

My cup is neither full nor empty. The vessel itself is cracked, therefore nothing really stays inside. Since the accident, I’ve felt even more incomplete than normal. Nothing seems to just stay inside and warm me up. My thoughts are jumbled or blank. I have nothing much to say. Everything feels like a void. I […]

Read More

Somewhere beyond the “Otherside”

My head is buzzing. The sound frequencies and wavelengths are churning inside my mind. I lie awake and stare at the wall, as if the answer to my problems are going to seep through the paint and wash away the indignation and pain. I’m not having a pity party, I legit question the universe as […]

Read More

Reflection, Progress, Dissociate, Repeat…

Looking back at 2017, it’s amazing (and scary) how fast time flies by. I mean, it’s already November. Sometimes it feels like I never left, and sometimes I get trapped in this place where I wonder if things have really changed. Then I look around and realize while my body is completely removed, my mind […]

Read More