Can you hear me?
My hands seem to be unclean, no matter how hard I try to scrub the blood off. It’s more like cement, fused into my skin even though it should be inside of me instead. There’s a lingering guilt that plagues me, even when I try to look away and not notice it… It’s always there. […]
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I’m a shadow in the dark, trying to put it back together, as I watch it fall apart. Nothing Makes Sense Anymore – Mike Shinoda / Post Traumatic I stood in the pitch black darkness. I was staring into the pacific ocean, on the Salt Creek beach in Dana Point, where I (mostly) grew up. […]
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Empty. Empty. Empty. Empty. Empty. Do you see me? Can you hear me? I’m looking into the dark and I thought I saw you there. I swear I did. I heard a familiar voice. It went away. You were there, too. But you went away. I can’t think of you or talk about you without […]
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I was sitting in my therapists office today. I wasn’t completely present, not until she said something that resonated within me. Something I never quite thought of. “Being in a relationship in this time of your life actually hinders you from developing your own self. Your feeding your own energy into someone else in the […]
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Life has been feeling mundane lately. All I do is work, then go home, sleep, rinse and repeat. I still haven’t found meaning in my life… What’s wrong with me? I can’t be the only one who feels this way though. I feel debilitated by fear, these invisible chains holding me back from reaching anything. […]
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Been having the worst writers block lately. I’m trying to force myself to write, but the shit that comes out hardly makes sense to me. I had a bit of a meltdown last night, alone in my room. I haven’t cried as hard as I did in a long time. It’s like everything I’ve been […]
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In all of my moments, all of my fleeting moments… The emotions that flood over me, the ones that are black and white; the colors of my tears that change faster than you could take another breath; the agony of another thought that pushes me under my skin, the place where I want to get […]
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There are so many things I want to say, but they are confined underneath my skin. They are suffocating with each thought that passes by. They want someone to hear them, but the forcefield of my own being refuses to let them go. If only I could let them go… I will try to release […]
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It’s hard to write this, but I have to. I’ve mentioned that this time of the year is hard because it’s football season, and my ex is a die-hard Philadelphia Eagles fan. I mean, I don’t blame him. That’s where he’s from. Gotta rep your team. I just caught a bit of tonight’s game, it […]
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Depression is me laying in bed all morning, all afternoon. It’s me aimlessly staring into my phone, swiping through apps, as if the answer to my life’s problems are going to reveal themselves. Depression is me looking for the will to try to make a change, to better my life, but unable to tap into […]
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amy sumisu 